- i’m that moody asshole at a movie who keeps criticizing it to my friends and i know that you and your friends keep side-eyeing and talking about me but i’ve had a shitty day and this is the only way i know how to blow off steam so stop with the judgemental glares and let me complain in peace no oh god please don’t you dare come over here au
- you work at lush and i’m buying a gift for a friend but i have absolutely no clue what to choose because there’s so many products and you suggest the #gayisok product and tell me all about it and i have a feeling you’re trying to tell me something because you keep touching my arm and laughing so hey if i buy this bar of soap will you wanna talk about soap somewhere else like on a date maybe au
- i’m a tumblr blogger who normally reblogs black and white photos and some real sad shit but you come along and now my followers are sending me messages telling me that it’s cool that i’ve started to reblog colorful stuff au
- you dropped your frozen yogurt on the sidewalk and you’re crying and i’m the only one around to witness this um do you want me to buy you another one au
- i had a huge crush on you in third grade but i moved to a different school and now we’re working at the same target store and all of the other employees are boring as fuck so do you wanna go out for drinks after work au
- i used to hate you because you started dating my boyfriend/girlfriend/partner two days after we broke up but i ran into you in the store and they broke up with you because they’re a piece of shit and you’re actually really nice and you’re beautiful too holy shit au
- you gave me a sample of your mix cd on the street because you’re trying to make it as a singer-songwriter and at first i wasn’t going to listen to it but i did and oh my god you’re really good so i looked you up on facebook and told you and do you maybe want to collab on something au
- i was playing baseball with my friends in the park and i accidentally swung the bat too hard and the ball hit you straight in the head and gave you a concussion and please don’t sue me i have to pay for college au
the creampuff graveyard
